Keep It Clean

Keep it clean……No, not your language, you’re a biker……….dammit! And I certainly hope I don’t have to be talking about your hygiene issues either. I’m talking about your bike, your scoot, your horse, your love. Sound like a silly thing to say? Ok, let’s analyse my comment a bit.Nothing blows my mind more than watching guys arrive for a ride or race with a dirty bike. And let’s face it, dirt bikes get, well, dirty – it’s the nature of the game. The thing is, particularly in South Africa, they are such expensive toys. Surely you want the reason for its expense to look like the reason for its expense? They are beautiful examples of high performance engineering, regardless of age. And yes, the older bikes do tend to get oil stained and suffer from plastic pigment fade. But these are no reasons for blatant neglect. Sometimes it feels like the last thing you want to do after a ride – clean your steed. Me, I don’t sleep happily if I haven’t done the clean thing after the ride, in fact a thorough cleaning, like it or not, is part of the ride deal to me. Besides plain old respect for my investment and my passion, I think its cool to role in with a shiny bike and off load her for everyone to see how slick she’s been maintained for each ride. And besides, chicks dig it!Unfortunately though, there is more to it than taking a pressure hose and sponge to visible items only. You get two types of bike cleaners – those that spray and store (or get the dude at the carwash to spray and scrub with a toothbrush while the owner sits back with a coke and a smoke), and those that clean and maintain. Yeah, chicks will still dig it if you role up with your machine all sparkly and clean……. in the places that are clearly visible anyway. But who’re you kidding? You know just as well that that is not really clean. That’s just a case of “Bo blink, onder stink” (sorry, a little national service humour sliding in there, not that it was so funny at the time). What people don’t understand is that a proper post-ride clean is also tantamount to basic necessary maintenance as well. When a dude pitches up with a dirty bike, one of the first things that goes through my mind is not that he doesn’t care about his ride, but its more a case of “if he hasn’t taken the time to clean, then he certainly hasn’t taken the time to do the necessary maintenance”. What’s the problem with this you ask. Well, quite simply, odds are that this is the bike that is going to break down out there and screw up my ride!! Quite frankly I don’t really care about his ride, he’s obviously not as interested or passionate about it as I am, but he’s coming out with me and when he breaks down in the middle of nowhere, I’m obliged to make sure that he’s taken care of, one way or another, and that screws up my ride.So what do we need to do? Well different folk have different ways of skinning the same cat. My method is as follows:I strip my bike down. Seat, tank, radiator shrouds, front plate, side covers, and fenders. I remove the air filter and securely (water tight) block the carb input from the air box and I block the exhaust. I then take my naked, dirty baby and load her back on my trailer and take her up to the local car wash. I use a half litre of the strongest degreaser I can find (I personally prefer a bottle of Engen engine cleaner) and spray the entire bottle all over the bike with focus on the greasy areas – around the engine and carb, exhaust manifold, etc. The engine cleaner gets about 5 minutes to settle in and shift the grime and then I hit it with a high pressure hose – at the local Shell station’s car wash bay, for 10 bucks I get 5 minutes hot soapy pressure jet and 5 minutes cold clear water pressure jet to rinse. Works like a bomb! I try to keep direct pressure off the chain and the radiator. I’ve heard a million stories about the potentially damaging affect direct water pressure can have on those areas. I don’t necessarily believe all of them but I’m not tempting fate with my Katy.When we get home, I start on all the stripped off pieces. Warm water with a strong cleaning agent diluted. I use plenty of the solution generously with a lot of elbow grease thrown in on each piece and then rinse with clean water. I do one piece at a time and leave to dry while I do the next piece. After all the plastics are done I mix new cleaning solution for the bike. Yes, we do more on the bike!!! You’d be surprised at how much high pressure water jets don’t get to. So, as with the plastics, we generously apply cleaning solution and elbow grease to every piece of frame, motor and wheels we can get to and then rinse with fresh water thoroughly.I then use a rust retardant with lubrication qualities – Wynns No. 5 to be exact. I spray a bit everywhere and wipe down. I also make sure that all moving areas get a good blast with the No. 5 – swingarm joints and bushes, kick starter swivel, etc, etc. I also check all bolts and nuts to make sure they are tight. What better time than when you bike is stripped down and you can get to them all. Obviously, where you find issues, you correct them before you continue. While you have easy access to all the moving bits, you can check the tension of your chain and, if necessary, tighten it up a bit. The last thing I get to while she’s all stripped down is the front forks. Carefully clean the area around and just under the seal covers. Sliding some photographic or thin x-ray film under them can assist this. Finish the job by spraying some of that No. 5 around them and compressing them once or twice for lubrication. This is such an easy way to ensure a longer fork seal lifespan.Then I start with all the plastics. Each piece gets a spray of No. 5 and a wipe – back and front, under and over, before I replace on the bike. This brings a nice “new” shine onto the plastic and has preservation qualities. All bolts and nuts that get put back to hold plastics in place get a little shot of locktite. After all plastics are in place I do my rims. But before I shine them up, I check that no spokes are loose. This is done by spinning the wheel slowly and tapping each spoke with a spanner. You should hear a nice pinging sound for each one. If you hear a dull thud, then that spoke is loose and should be tightened – or left loose if you are keen on riding with a warped rim – hey, different strokes…..In the case of my KTM, I have easy access to my air box for air filter servicing. Other model bike owners might want to deal with the air filter before they replace the seat and/or side covers. Anyway, the air filter should be serviced regularly – the experts reckon this should be done after every ride. I try to do it after every ride but I sometimes make my own judgement call on that one. However, if you’re going to do it properly then every ride is the way to go. I keep a spare air filter. And my process is simple. I clean the air filter in petrol to remove any and all dirty air filter oil. Some will say that this is bad (specially the filter oil manufacturers) because it eats away the foam of your filter. I say nonsense!!! I’ve been using this method since 1981 on my first Yamaha IT175. I immediately give the filter a thorough wash in water with detergent followed by a thorough rinse in fresh water. This filter goes on the line to dry and becomes next week’s spare. Last week’s clean filter comes into play now. I saturate the filter in approved air filter oil and make sure that the oil totally covers the filter. The oil is really lousy stuff to work with and there are a couple of tricks that can be employed here. The obvious one, and my preferred choice, is using a pair of disposable latex or plastic gloves. The other method is to put your filter in a plastic bag, pour oil into the bag and massage the oil through the filter in the bag. The only problem with the bag option is the maneuvering of the air filter over its brace and into the air box. Once your filter is oiled you need to get it into the air box. Obviously, I’m hoping you’ve removed your waterproof cover and made sure that the air box and carb manifold is clean. Before you put the air filter in, you should use some grease and put a thin coating around the area that the air filter is going to make contact with. This is to create an air and water proof seal. The last item for consideration with air filters is some say you should not actually do the air filter service until just before your next ride because the filter oil collects at the bottom of the filter and the rest dries out. Uhhhmmm……I don’t necessarily agree with this chain of thought. Yes there is a bit of a gravity effect, but not to the degree that will degrade the quality of the filter’s effectiveness.After you’ve completed the reassembly of all outstanding items, you should lubricate your chain. There is constant debate about what the best chain lube is, some say wax, others say that wax attracts too much grit that wears away the sprocket prematurely. Others say that you should use good ol’ engine oil brushed on liberally. I say, choose your preferred lubricant (I use normal liquid chain lube – not really brand conscious on the issue), and make sure that your chain is properly lubed before each time you ride, and preferably after you clean your bike to prevent rust and/or hardening between the clean operation and the next ride.Finally, I stand back, grab a cold one, sit back and admire the absolute beauty and readiness of my baby for next week. See ya there.Keep the shiny side up and ride it like you stole itSteve “Tombstone” LauterP.S. This does not constitute a full service of your motorcycle. This is just basic, necessary maintenance. Kind of like the way you take a shower every day!