So You Wanna Be A Cowboy?

So you wanna be a cowboy?Why? ‘Cause chicks dig it!!!I hear ya. I really do. Man, there are few rushes that compare to hauling along on your back wheel past the crowds. Have you ever got some serious air time in front of your mates or, better yet in front of a bunch of strangers? You know that buzz I’m talking about – eight guys sitting and staring up a monster hill climb and you just breeze past them and ride up the thing like it was a tarred highway. Way, way, cool.That is until you open your eyes and the crowds and/or your mates and/or the strangers and/or the eight guys are all staring down at you and hear things like: “he’s opening his eyes” or “do you think he’s broken anything” or “does anyone know his name?”. Hmmmm, not so nice. Well here’s some good news and some bad news. Good news: Everyone on a dirt bike gets to be cowboy, some more than others, some a little bit by mistake, some…….’cause they can! But we all do it. Why? ‘Cause it’s cool. Bad news: The problem is not everyone is a great cowboy and this leads to very common and very regular “dethroning”. Sometimes pretty hard. A crazy phenomenon that a lot of dirt riders don’t realize is quite a painful one – and that’s another story all on it’s own – how many guys do repeat hospital visits for doing the same dead-head things!!!Anyway, back to this story. So you all get the picture. You are going to study the ground at high speed and up close and personal. It’s the nature of the game. The problem with this is that your body was not manufactured for this side of the sport. Fortunately, a bunch of clever okes out there have been making and improving on safety kit for many years. Unfortunately, a bunch of stupid okes still ride without it!!! Well pale face, start using your brains. It doesn’t matter how slow you think you’re going, when your head hits a rock or hard, packed sand road at 10kms per hour, it’ll do the same damage as hitting the veld at 60kms per hour. The range of helmets available today is unbelievable and the prices range from almost give-away to pretty expensive. The thing is, the helmet is probably the most important piece of equipment you should use and the pricing and availability of them is such that there is no excuse for not wearing one. Quite frankly, if you want to ride around wearing absolutely nothing, you should still wear a helmet. Those of you who choose not to, you get less than zip sympathy from me when you have a serious crash and, if you are responsible for family or employees, then you should be liable for a massive fine for negligence towards the well being of those that depend on you! (Oooookaaaaay, that’s off my chest…..moving right along then……….).Next on my personal list of importance is gloves, some may argue that goggles or boots are next and I understand their argument. But, think about it – you are guaranteed to fall off your dirt bike if you actually let the clutch out and start moving forward under the power of the machine, regardless of speed. And, when you fall off, your first natural reaction is going to be putting your hand or hands out to protect the rest of you from the fall. Hell, you don’t even have to fall off a bike, any fall you take, you will stick your hands out!!! Bear in mind, that the faster you are going when you have your crash or the rougher the surface of the terrain, the more skin you’re going to take off your hands. Much, much better with gloves there to protect you. Furthermore, good gloves will give you enhanced grip on your handlebars thereby giving you better control. And, if you get a pair with decent protection over the knuckles, you will far more enjoy rides at De Wildt and places with similar terrain than others who spend the rest breaks pulling thorns out of their hands from between their knuckles. Don’t laugh, this is gospel!!!Boots. These are usually the most expensive piece of equipment but also soooooo important. No they are not going to stop guys spraining or, worse, breaking an ankle or a foot now and then, but they do prevent the frequency of these injuries. You have to have a really unlucky twist of the foot to have an orthopaedic injury when wearing a proper pair of boots. Furthermore, almost all of them have metal toe-caps as standard. For motocross this may not be so important, but for all of us trail riders the high-speed-toe-against-the-hidden-rock injury is greatly avoided and I have seen many a rider kneeling down to their metal toe-caps over a beer at the end of a ride. The other value that boots bring to the ride is the ankle support they provide. Stand-up riding is part of the game for better bike control. The ankle support your boots provide is fantastic. Try standing a bunch during the ride wearing takkies, you’ll soon learn what I mean. Finally, you will often cross rivers, your boots are usually more than half way up your shin and usually provide some water proofing.Goggles would be the next important item. You cannot ride blind. In fact you cannot do much blind!!! And that’s a real threat if you are not wearing eye protection. Sure, it’s not so bad if you’re in the lead – you may still study the odd bug really close up and I promise the tears in your eye will not be because you think it is the most beautiful of nature’s creatures!!! Riding behind one or many guys is going to kick up enough dust to irritate at slow speeds and enough small gravel to do permanent injury at higher speeds. Besides, what’s the fun of riding when you can’t see where you’re going. ‘Nough said!We all know that riding alone is dangerous and stupid. Good, so now we realise that we will often be riding behind someone. We all know that knobbly tires kick up some big stones. Good, so now we know that we ride behind someone pretty regularly and big stones will be flying towards us. Cool, we understand the need for a chest protector!!! Easy huh? Please believe me when I tell you that it is not there to stop breaking your collar bone and probably won’t but you will wish you had been wearing one when the stone cracks a rib or leaves you with a black and blue swelling for a week.Picture the scene: Average speed of 60kms/hour – 80kms/hour. Average quality of terrain is very to mildly bumpy – but always bumpy. Your kidneys are not connected by bone, steel or any other hard supportive structure to any other hard supportive part of your body. They move up and down a lot when you ride. When you start passing blood it’s too late to have wished you’d been wearing a kidney belt. Shall I go on?Once your hand has taken the fall, you are going to be sliding (9 out of 10 times) on your forearms, elbows, knees and shins. Get yourself knee and shin guards and elbow guards. Most elbow guards provide forearm protection as well.All of this sounds like a lot and a lot usually sounds like expense. Well there are a couple of ways of looking at it. Your bike, even second hand, usually costs a bunch of money. The price of kit new or used is a small percentage of the cost of the bike – make the investment. If you cannot afford brand new kit, then get it second hand. There are always guys selling stuff and there are a few places that keep used gear – Full Throttle in Edenvale have a whole section of used gear. Your medical expenses and the cost to those who depend on you when you’re injured are far more expensive than the cost of kit. Go get some.My nickname “Tombstone” came the hard way. I have had too many injuries in my riding years to go into detail. I used to think I was the super Cowboy. I used to ride “minimalistic” – overalls, boots, helmet, goggles and gloves. I looked cool, thought I was cool, but hurt like hell. You wanna know about “Chicks diggin’ it”? Scabs, scars, bandages, crutches are not attractions. I have been the sacrificial lamb. I have done the stupid thing and learned all the lessons for all of you. Why do you want to re-learn them? Don’t be stupid – kit up!!!You can never, never have too much kit!!!Keep the shiny side up and ride it like you stole itSteve “Tombstone” Lauter